The urge to disappear: How travel becomes an escape from daily roles
- Klaudia Aksiucik
- Jun 24
- 4 min read
When familiar places become a prison rather than a pleasure
Home is supposed to be a place of genuine comfort, but why has it been assumed it is more like a mirror of everything that we are expected to be? We may be illustrated as the emotionally intelligent human beings who listen and soothe. The reliable friend who always shows up, or maybe even the disappointment who never quite measures up despite doing everything that can be done, but still somehow is not enough. These roles assigned by others gradually become the scripts we follow, whether it is willingly or not. It may seem nice at first, being responsible for others as well as ourselves, but to be frank, in the long run those roles become somewhat traps. A never-ending cycle which we didn’t necessarily agree to but learned to perform due to the fact that saying a simple ‘no’ meant disappointment, rejection, or even guilt. But have we ever wondered: ‘Who would I be if no one needed me to be anything?’ For many, the urge to pack a bag and leave is not always a sign of weakness, of the fact that they do not know how to cope in their surroundings - it is about the silent desperation to actually step out of the role that they have been assigned.
The temptation of wanting to be anonymous
Travel offers a kind of freedom that everyday life rarely does. In a place where no one knows our names, our personal struggles, we are not required to be anyone. Instead of being perceived as somebody specific, we can just exist while being unshaped by anyone’s expectations but our own. The opportunity to feel as if a weight has been lifted, as if we do not feel the pressure to be the version of ourselves that everyone back home is used to - isn’t there something amazing about that? The chance to start fresh, even if only for a short period of time?
The illusion of being anonymous
Although it seems kind of fun to travel in order to forget about the parts that are many kilometres away, we cannot forget that the desire for anonymity is not without its negative sides. While being unseen can offer relief to some extent, it can also deepen a sense of isolation. Yes, humans are wired to connect in order to be understood, but how do we combine the comfort of vanishing from our hometown with the need to belong? Perhaps travelling is not only about escaping roles but also about new ways to be seen - without all the excessive weight of old expectations, but with the feeling of genuine acceptance.
The false promise of escape
It is logical that running away does not erase what’s trapped inside of us. The voices at the back of our heads will consistently talk about our roles in our hometown no matter what. But maybe travel is not only about fleeing forever. Maybe it is a pause to some extent, something like a deep breath between chapters of life. It is truly unbelievable how being distant from home can sometimes sharpen our perspective of who we really are, and what we actually want to become.
Returning different - or not returning at all
Eventually, most travellers return and go back to their hometown. But do they act like nothing has happened the last couple of days and step back into old patterns? Or come home with brand-new outlooks and question the roles they once accepted? If so, is it possible that in losing ourselves for some time, we create more space to live fully? Could the places we travel be our medicine when it comes to living with genuine pleasure?
In conclusion, maybe travelling is not always about the places we go, but the versions of ourselves we leave behind. Wherever we go, we carry many different things that are stitched into us due to the fact that it is part of our identity. People run not only from places or never-ending routines, but from light expectations that have become traps over time. They seek some sort of silence after the constant years of being perceived as the reliable, emotionally intelligent person, the genuine disappointment.
Escape, however, no matter how far it is, is never perfect. The self we try to outrun will always find its way to follow us in its own time. Nonetheless, there is something quite magical in the action of leaving, by choosing to start over, where no one yet has assigned you a specific role. There is courage found in vanishing, even if it means just for a moment. This is because in the space between leaving and coming back, we may find a different kind of change. Not by becoming someone else, but by simply allowing ourselves to exist as we are.
Bibliography
The Art Of Travel, Alain de Botton, Internet Movie Database, 2008
Youtube, The Gift Of Imperfection by Brené Brown (Animated) uploaded by Keynote Knowledge, 24 April 2024
Liquid Modernity, Bauman Zygmunt, Polity Press, 2022
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