'Like a chicken talking to a duck’ - Culture differences in China
- Nadia Michalik
- May 30
- 5 min read
„雞同鴨講” (jī tóng yā jiǎng) - This phrase describes miscommunication between people, due to their differences, such as language barriers or values. It perfectly depicts the inability of proper communication. Just like the literal meaning, a duck and a chicken cannot reach a consensus in a decent way. We can see that in the dissimilarities of cultures. By being brought up in different cultures, we have different points of views, set of values as well as manners. We tend to be scared of committing faux pas, even unintentionally. To minimise the risk of that, we can learn more about the culture of a particular country we plan visiting in the future. It not only shows respect towards locals, but also a deep appreciation of their customs. Let’s look at interesting traditions in Chinese culture.
Significance of colours
The Chinese pay close attention to the symbolic meaning of things, as everything has its own crucial part in the culture. Just like colours, some of which are believed to bring fortune, whereas others - inauspiciousness. For instance, red is perceived as a colour of luck, bringing prosperity to ones who embrace it. It is often seen in Chinese celebrations, such as weddings or festivals. In the Chinese New Year (春节 - chūn jié), the elders give a red envelope (红包 - hóngbāo), a traditional gift of money, to the younger members of family, as it is believed to flourish in joy and luckiness.
On the other hand, white is unlucky since it is the colour for mourning and death. It symbolises the paleness of death, thus it is exclusively worn at Chinese funerals. Nowadays, with the influx of Western cultural values, white wedding gowns have become more popular.
Numerical symbolism
In Chinese culture, numbers are much more than just mathematical expressions - they carry deep cultural meanings. The number 8 is considered extremely lucky because it sounds like ‘fā’ (发) which means ‘to prosper’. Furthermore, it is also seen as a symbol of harmony due to its symmetrical shape. As a result, phone numbers, license plates, and even property prices with multiple 8s are highly sought after.
Conversely, the number 4 is avoided because of its phonetic similarity to the word ‘death (死 - sǐ). Elevators may skip the fourth floor, and gifts in sets of four are generally unwelcome.
Chopsticks
Chopstick etiquette is an important aspect of Chinese table manners. One particularly taboo gesture is sticking chopsticks upright into a bowl of rice, as this resembles incense sticks placed in rice during funerals—an ominous and disrespectful image. Instead, chopsticks should be placed neatly beside the bowl when not in use.
Other key rules include not pointing with chopsticks, not spearing food, and never using them to gesture. Proper dining etiquette signals respect for the culture and the people sharing the meal.
Tea Ceremony (茶道)
The Tea Ceremony is one of the most important traditions in Chinese culture. It is a formal process of preparing and presenting tea, often involving specific rituals and etiquette. It represents an essential part in weddings and social gatherings. This ritual indicates respect, peace as well as deep appreciation of nature. Each step of the ceremony carries its own meaning and is performed with intention and grace. For instance, the careful rinsing of tea leaves symbolises purity, while the slow and deliberate pouring of tea is meant to foster mindfulness and patience. In a wedding context, the tea ceremony is a formal introduction of newlyweds to one another’s families by offering elder relatives tea. Traditionally, the groom's family would present a dowry to the bride's family. Beyond weddings, drinking tea is a common practice in social gatherings. In this way, many people spend free time with their friends, savouring the flavours and aromas of teas.
Culture of gifting
The art of gifting in China is delicate, filled with symbolic meaning and unspoken rules. Gifts should be wrapped attractively, particularly in red, as (I have mentioned before) it is associated with luck. Some presents are considered ill-starred. Clocks, for instance, are a reminiscent of funerals, due to the similarity of two Chinese expressions - the phrase ‘giving a clock’ (送钟) sounds like ‘attending a funeral’ (送终). Although it remains as an unlucky gift to give, especially on birthdays, younger generations may not be as concerned about this traditional taboo. It also does not mean that we should not look upon customs since they have shaped the culture throughout the time. Moreover, presents should usually be declined modestly at first - a custom rooted in humility.
Beauty standards
Traditional Chinese beauty standards emphasize fair skin, delicate features, and slim figures, influenced by centuries of literature, art, as well as historical ideas. In ancient times, paleness was associated with wealth and refinement, as it implied one did not work under the sun. These preferences still persist today, reflected in the popularity of skin-whitening products and aesthetic ideals in media, such as Douyin.
Language
The Chinese language, especially Mandarin Chinese, is not only one of the most challenging ones to learn due to its linguistic complexity but also culturally layered. Kindness is often conveyed through tone, indirectness, and titles. For example, using respectful terms like ‘lǎo shī’ (teacher), ‘xiānshēng’ (sir) or ‘lǎobǎn’ (boss) reflects a hierarchical mindset. Language serves as both a means of communication as well as a mirror of social relationships. The so-called ’malapropism’ or speaking too directly may unintentionally appear impolite or aggressive. Undoubtedly, language is deeply intertwined with customs, making it an essential factor in shaping Chinese culture.
By knowing these rules, we can easily omit committing gaffe. Understanding customs offer a meaningful way to show respect and foster deeper cross-cultural connections. In this way, we are no longer like ‘a chicken and a duck’, but well-versed and thoughtful people, with a deep understanding of cultural diversity across the world. Our differences do not stop us from being open to other perspectives. Instead, they give us power to strive for more and broaden our minds.
Nadia Michalik
Bibliography
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Lu, Yifei. “Chinese Epidemic: The Thin Ideal.” The Ends of Globalization, 5 Dec. 2021, medium.com/writ-150-at-usc-fall-2020/chinese-epidemic-the-thin-ideal-260c639c692b. Accessed 12 May 2025.
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